At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
