OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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