Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
