what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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