I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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