need another drink. this is the easiest way
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
