I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
