You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
