i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
