you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
