just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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