we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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