Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
