If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
