i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
