i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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