Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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