you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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