He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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