Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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