Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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