Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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