Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.

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  (913): You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion. http://tfl.nu/50jg
  Replies (86) Good night (3398) Bad night (721)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."

  (716): View more from New York

  lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.

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  (267): Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious." (716): lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus. http://tfl.nu/bbah
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (1971)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.

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  (609): no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical. http://tfl.nu/1fef
  Replies (11) Good night (1089) Bad night (4059)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  ...there is blood under my fingernails.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  ...I hope my roomates are okay.

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  (515): ...there is blood under my fingernails. (515): ...I hope my roomates are okay. http://tfl.nu/jgvb
  Replies (7) Good night (1029) Bad night (3387)
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  (914): View more from New York

  There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone

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  (914): There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone http://tfl.nu/hyr8
  Replies (240) Good night (2167) Bad night (8519)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.

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  (612): we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour. http://tfl.nu/nwj9
  Replies (11) Good night (4435) Bad night (1381)
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  (408): View more from California

  just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".

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  (408): just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right". http://tfl.nu/kg1e
  Replies (8) Good night (1794) Bad night (4450)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass

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  (239): i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass http://tfl.nu/a9ff
  Replies (12) Good night (3961) Bad night (1075)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'

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  (512): Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob' http://tfl.nu/rohh
  Replies (17) Good night (1157) Bad night (2418)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...

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  (615): To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels... http://tfl.nu/f4i6
  Replies (7) Good night (3234) Bad night (844)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset

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  (412): I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset http://tfl.nu/cmm6
  Replies (8) Good night (852) Bad night (2211)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.

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  (203): a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away. http://tfl.nu/13eg
  Replies (10) Good night (2226) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.

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  (734): I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now. http://tfl.nu/9g1m
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (369)
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  (530): View more from California

  I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.

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  (530): I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century. http://tfl.nu/blji
  Replies (4) Good night (640) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.

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  (870): So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit. http://tfl.nu/thjs
  Replies (7) Good night (659) Bad night (207)

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