Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  ...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...

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  (503): ...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home... http://tfl.nu/g51m
  Replies (7) Good night (613) Bad night (1121)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays

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  (224): Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays http://tfl.nu/pg2c
  Replies (19) Good night (7037) Bad night (688)
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  (916): View more from California

  Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.

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  (916): Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus. http://tfl.nu/w1gl
  Replies (17) Good night (1094) Bad night (5377)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.

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  (832): Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is. http://tfl.nu/odjy
  Replies (9) Good night (4111) Bad night (1249)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.

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  (423): Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in. http://tfl.nu/i926
  Replies (16) Good night (3162) Bad night (1045)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

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  (740): I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago. http://tfl.nu/bvjh
  Replies (5) Good night (3373) Bad night (1050)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I think mounting someone proves who's house this is

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  (602): I think mounting someone proves who's house this is http://tfl.nu/3n41
  Replies (5) Good night (1658) Bad night (779)
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  (805): View more from California

  Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.

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  (805): Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life. http://tfl.nu/rnx1
  Replies (2) Good night (1394) Bad night (588)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I don't deserve a penis

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  (718): I don't deserve a penis http://tfl.nu/gla8
  Replies (6) Good night (482) Bad night (1117)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?

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  (406): bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok? http://tfl.nu/2iym
  Replies (14) Good night (528) Bad night (1286)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I almost fell asleep reading that.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I almost fell asleep fucking it.

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  (405): No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora. (405): I almost fell asleep reading that. (405): I almost fell asleep fucking it. http://tfl.nu/v47a
  Replies (5) Good night (586) Bad night (1034)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?

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  (304): watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him? http://tfl.nu/cta0
  Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (457)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son

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  (920): it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son http://tfl.nu/82oe
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (396)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship

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  (412): we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship http://tfl.nu/1u6k
  Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (431)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.

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  (574): Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again. http://tfl.nu/4me9
  Replies (2) Good night (164) Bad night (337)

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