Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
bring money and cleavage
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?