i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
