Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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