Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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