I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize