Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
