she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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