hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize