it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
