Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
