So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
