You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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