sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
