You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
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We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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