Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize