we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
