i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
