Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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