i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
operation harelip BJ is a go
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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