even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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