I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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