He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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