Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
