as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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