Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
