It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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