ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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