the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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