Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
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we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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