I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
