I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
