i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.