dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage