Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
