I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
