That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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